not enough

salam alaik

i'm at utm, tersadai depan pc kat perpustakaan sultanah zanariah yang tercinta
when i should go to daurah by now
but it's ok, i should learn my lesson by now ait? *innamal a'malu binniat*

so, before i'm going back
i should write something here

what have we done so far
to people that we love?
to our brothers and sisters that need us?
to ISLAM?

and is that enough? enough to bring ourselves and the people that we love into jannah? enough to brag in front of Allah that we've at least done something to help?

i'm scared that it's not
and how we can be so sure that all our good deeds have been accepted by Allah?

you're maybe an awesome dai'e or dai'eyah in the campus
or maybe a super saiya murabbi in front of your collegue
but trust me, it's NOTHING if you're not practising the tarbiyah that you've got to save your beloved ones.
it's NOTHING if you're the one who futur sokmo during semester break!

T.T

and you said that you've been tarbiyah?

**azam for this 14th ramadhan - less talk, more amal/action

what's inside

fun!

baru habis final exam. tadi dah berangan nak lepak kat tasik je petang ni. baca kisah sahabat sambil dibuai angin petang. fuhh masyukk :3 tapi ada yg lagi masyukk, dah lama x pegang stereng! keke official driver for today, date dekat abang burn and village garden with dearie batchmates ♥

Alhamdulillah
final macam biasa, mestila tough
tapi sem ni ramai sangat yang bantu. serious terharu. huu thank you rabb! walaupun aku x layak nak masuk kategori hambamu yg bersyukur, kau masih hantar bantuan disaat aku membutuhkan. ahh malunya. jzkk khoir sahabat2, sharing means caring ait? :)

akhawats, gue rindu!
mutarabbi sekalian, ampunkan daku yg culas dalam kefuturan ini. this is really break down season for me. hopeless me -.-
murabbiku, one fine day daku akan duduk bersamamu dan bercerita banyak perkara. that day will come, insyaAllah! saranghanda!

dear me,
sila jangan bazirkan cuti ni dengan sia2. stay strong! He loves you enough. tak cukup lagi ke??

>.<

hospital

scrolling down fb
found this :)

https://www.facebook.com/syamirulah

teringat kisah aku dan hospital. huhu
indeed, everyone nak the best treatment for themselves despite org ramai yang beratur panjang dekat hospital awam tu. patients blame bilangan doctor yg x cukup. lembap! doctor stress kena on call 24 jam x tidur, pastu kena maki dgn patient :3


cerita aku bermula begini

badan yg menggigil kesejukan tiba2. petanda nak demam tapi tiba2 bertukar symptom kepada muntah non-stop. dalam sejam dekat 4, 5 kali muntah. lembik, tekak perit, xde selera makan. pergi klinik swasta tapi still muntah sambil menangis-nangis. sakit! at last, ayah suruh pack barang pergi hospital. my very first time pergi wad kecemasan pukul 12.30 malam sbg patient. ramaiiiiiiii org. tapi mmg dah x hirau org pon, tahan muntah >.<

amek darah. tungguuuuuuu dalam keadaan hospital yg sejuk beku di tengah pagi. ulang alik depan bilik doctor. sampai muntah pon dah keluar darah. serious scary. I resist myself from muntah again. menunggu dalam keadaan tahan muntah. pernantian yg menyedihkan dan memeritkan.

sampai jam 5.30 pagi baru no naik, jumpa doctor. result darah ok. awak xde sakit pape, kata doctor. yeahhh mmg saya suka dgr diagnosis doctor lepas tggu 5 jam >.< dahtu kenapa saya asyik muntah je? Tanya saya yg x puas hati. baru doctor nak cek perut, urine test, x-ray bagai sampai akhirnya di diagnose sbg food poisoning. masuk 1 pain air glucose + ubat tahan muntah via ipv selama sejam sampai dah nak habis subuh.

pengalaman first pakai ipv di katil hospital. boring dan sejuk. asyik Tanya akak kat situ bila nak habis? x boleh tidur sebab tak selesa takut langgar jarum. siap request perlahankan aircond. keke Nasib baik akak tu sportg bo layan je. last2 mntak selimut extra dan buat2 pejam mata sampai terlelap. serius boring.

kali kedua di hospital

amek darah di unit kecemasan. macam biasa tunggu result darah. tapi sebab kesan tekak luka haritu, jadi xde rasa nak makan/minum. cucuk jarum x keluar darah. darah pekat sgt. first time amek darah sakit camtu. akhirnya kena panggil lagi amek darah baru, lepas minum sikit. Lebam tangan kiri kanan. dan menunggu.... 7 jam kemudian dengan menangis-nangis ajak ayah balik. baik2 tak sakit jadi sakittttt. rupanya ada silap teknikal pasal no giliran. dan macam biasa, darah awak normal!


I hate hospital. haha that's what I thought.
until I read him's.

kesimpulannya, hospital mmg tempat tarbiyah sabar. sabar merawat dan sabar menunggu.
dan sila jaga kesihatan. serius duduk hospital boring + scary.

dan make sure dalam family ada at least sorg kakitangan kerajaan. senang mak ayah dpt rawatan percuma ;)

break down

heyy

escapism,
from this world
to another dimension? not bad huh?

sometimes I really wondered how it's feel to really care about people. more than just saying 'I miss you' or uhibbuki fillah. reality is far than what u can Imagined. you don't really need sms for cheering u up (of course really grateful for that). for now I really wish someone's here, patting my shoulder and said 'never mind, u're doing great'. haha I wish -.-

always thought to myself (so-called-self hypnotysed), it's ok. kenchanaaaa

but the truth is.. I'm not!